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The Redneck Love Poem

Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue
And I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like corn silk a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud;
I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,
Well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work, they all want to know,
What I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape, yo're there fer yore man,
To patch up life's troubles and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt,
You spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.
Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,
We go together like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses on that special day
From the cooler at Kroger. That's impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, these won't do.
Cause yor'e too special, you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
More useful than diamonds......IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!


 
Recipe for Norwegian Hunting Mixture Bowl

Norwegian Hunting Mixture Bowl Recipe

A delicious recipe for Norwegian Hunting Mixture Bowl, with alcohol, lemonade, lemons, oranges and grapefruits.

Norwegian Hunting Mixture Bowl Recipe Ingredients

2 gal alcohol
5 gal lemonade
3 kg lemons
4 kg oranges
3 kg grapefruits


How to serve Norwegian Hunting Mixture Bowl Recipe

1. Fill a a large clean mixing bowl with approx. 2 gallon pure alcohol and 5 gallon lemonade.

2. Add approx. 10 kg. fresh fruits; lemon, grapefruit and oranges. Mix the items together for approx. 2 minutes with a 4 HP outboard-motor with cooling - and exhaust system modified to not interfere with the mixture.

3. Can be served in all kind of glasses but preferably a jar called "Norges-glass".
Mason Jar

Nutritional Information for Norwegian Hunting Mixture Bowl Recipe

(per 1248.7 oz serving)

Calories (kcal)
Energy (kj)
Fats
Carbohydrates
Protein

74682
312469
61.8 g
6463.2 g
344.9 g

Fiber
Sugars
Cholesterol
Sodium
Alcohol

635.6 g
5580.9 g
0 mg
2493 mg
6894.7 g

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